Learning To Pray
Polls have discovered that a huge majority (80+%) of adults believe that prayer is a good thing and people should pray regularly. Along with this, however, is the somewhat alarming disclosure that over 2/3 of these same adults actually spend what they consider to be “enough time” in prayer. Why is that?
It may be simple apathy or spiritual laziness; if so, there is nothing I can offer here. On the other hand, an unsatisfying prayer life may reflect a need or desire for some guidance about how to pray. As a pastor and spiritual director, the comment “I’m not even sure if what I’m doing qualifies as real prayer” is one I hear far too often.
Developing Proper Skills
Let’s assume that everyone who wants to pray has the ability to do so (it’s not like calculus or art). What we often look for in trying to improve our performance in a given area is “skill development.” So how about prayer? What skills must we have and develop in order to pray more effectively?
The answer might frustrate you: There aren’t any! EFFECTIVE PRAYER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SKILL!
Why Skills Don’t Matter
Prayer is communication (and communion) with God. Since we all know we could be better at communicating with each other, and that interpersonal communication is often challenging and CAN be improved by learning and practicing new and different skills, it is natural to assume that the same thing can happen where communication with God is concerned. This is where we’re wrong!
In interpersonal communication, we’re often “at a loss for words”; we just can’t find a way to say what we are thinking or feeling so that the person we’re trying to reach will understand. As listeners we have a similar problem: We know the language being spoken, but often fail to grasp the message. But in the case of prayer, which is communication with God, things are radically different. Listen to what Paul writes in Romans 8:
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.” [Romans 8: 26-27, NIV]
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